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I was called to create my own Mistress Degree. I am a self declared Mistress of Art. I promised to take my time, be guided by my intuition, begin at the beginning and end at the end. In my first year I revisited and studied the artists who had inspired me. In my second year I began creating. In my third year I did my final project Exquisite Shame and published the art book. In my final year I exhibited the art and told the story. Doing this in my own way.
In my research I came to learn there is no accurate metric to value art and that no art by a woman had ever sold at auctions for over 100 million dollars. So I created my own system to value this collection of art.
You can't flip an egg with a diamond Damien Hirst
PRICE $100 MILLION
Why? Valuing the under valued. Behind every great man is someone flipping their eggs. Damien Hirst claimed to have sold his diamond encrusted skull, For the Love of God fo $100 million.
I fucking hate this spatula.
How have I ended up here? Flipping fucking eggs. I’ve lost my freedom. My independence. Tim gets to go to work. Has time in the car on his own. I’m stuck. Stuck here. Stuck with the kids. The fucking ‘greats’ had an egg flipping flipper gifting them space to contemplate. Space to think. Space to make their mark in the world. Yet here I am, a failed fucking First Class Artist. Flipping FUCKING EGGS.
FULL STORY IN EXQUISITE SHAME
Weapons of Mass Destruction
PRICE £20.6 BILLION
Why? The estimated value of the contraceptive pill industry in 2026.
My first contraceptive pill packet 1998.
For the majority of my menstruating life I have been an abuser of my menstrual cycle. Hating and expecting of it. Why?
I wanted to know why menstruation, which is essential to life on this planet, has been undervalued and rejected with such revulsion, when the blood of Christ is adored and the blood shed of war is remembered.
I was that woman who rejected my blood, who sought convenience over connection; pissing poison into our waters. Drugging my babies. I was a fully loaded Weapon of Mass Destruction. In the name of liberation.
REDACTED
PRICE £5.7 BILLION
The annual cost of children’s social care services in the UK.
Correspondence between me and my absent father.
The Vagazzled Speculum. The instrument played by my rapist
PRICE $11 BILLION the estimated value of the cervical screening industry by 2026.
I hadn’t visited Him for years.
He didn’t even know I existed. I was just a number to Him.
He still got the money though, I was quiet. That’s the way He liked it. The best ones are the quiet ones.
I couldn’t be quiet in my silent rebellion any longer.
I left a message telling Him I didn’t want to be part of His religion any longer.
FULL STORY IN EXQUISITE SHAME
We are ALL Salvator Mundi 2020
PRICE $916 MILLION
Why? Approximate total of the price gap between the top three highest sold male artists and top three highest sold female artists.
Laying on my bed. This bleed is painful. So much pain. I am listening. I am a fuck up. A failure. I know I am a bloody brilliant artist. Yet here I am. Unrecognised.
How as a woman and a mother will I ever make it as an artist?
It’s bullshit, it’s all bullshit. Salvator Mundi, supposedly by Leonardo Da Vinci, sold for $450 million. Without authentication.
Why has no woman ever made it to this?
FULL STORY IN EXQUISITE SHAME
The Bloody Dress 2020
PRICE $10.8 TRILLION.
Why? The unpaid care work by women adds up to $10.8 Trillion per year (Oxfam study 2020)
I am going to make a bloody dress. And not just any bloody dress. I am going to make a bloody dress from fabric stained in my menstrual blood.
I am communing with the source I was scared of. The source I didn’t understand. The source for human life.